When at age 19 Nicole Serafin was diagnosed with a form of cervical cancer she knew her life was potentially in danger. Today at 40 years old she reflects on how she came to do much more than survive her cancer scare and how she subsequently chose to deeply heal the way she was living. Originally published at the Truth about Universal Medicine blog we include it here because of its great relevance to women’s health and wellbeing. A must read for all women, this article also raises interesting questions about the validity of a purely genetic understanding in our view of the generational effects of illness and disease.
by Nicole Serafin
At the age of 19, I was diagnosed with CIN3 (also called carcinoma in situ or stage 0 cervical cancer) the highest level of cell changes that can occur before there is invasion into deeper tissues. As such it was imperative to have it treated before it progressed further and became invasive.
I had no symptoms that I knew of, and had been for a regular check-up at my local doctor when she asked if I had ever had a pap smear. Being 19, I thought that was something that older people had. She explained to me that it was not an age thing, so I decided to have one. I did not think anything of it at the time, not expecting to hear another word about it.
I soon received a call from the surgery telling me I had to come straight in. My test results were positive and my doctor had made an appointment for me to go and see a specialist that morning. I went on to have numerous laser operations to remove the advanced precancerous cells on my cervix, as well as having three laparoscopies.
At the age of 25, I was told that I would not be able to have children due to the amount of scarring on my cervix and the cells that continued to regrow. The doctor suggested that if I wanted children, to try straight away and to have at least one as the chances of me conceiving let alone being able to carry to full term were slim.
At that time, my partner and I were not in a great place. I had my own business, I worked six days a week and did not feel that my life at the time was the sort of life I wanted to bring a child into.
Then again at age 28 I required more surgery for multiple ovarian cysts that had ruptured. The doctors wanted to give me a hysterectomy due to the presence of all the cysts combined with my previous history.
It was a shock and the surgery was something I did not want. So I got on a plane to Sydney to see my specialist who was still treating me, so that he could go in one more time and see what could be done.
My specialist listened to what I felt and promised to only look during that surgery, as I was scared they would just go ahead with the hysterectomy if they found too much going on. After the operation, he came to me to explain that the doctors who had treated me for my cysts at home were correct, and I should consider going further with the operation. I asked him to give me three months to make some changes in my life and see what happened.
My family was not happy with the choice I made. They told me it was in my genes – my grandmother had had a hysterectomy, as had my aunty, and my mother had a lot of problems in her reproductive area as well. However, I knew if there was the slightest possibility I could change things, then I had to give it a go. I had been living my life under an enormous amount of pressure. I was in a dysfunctional relationship and was constantly pushing myself and my body, past the point that it could cope with. I knew that my illness was a result of the choices that I had been making and that I had to start looking at those choices and begin to make some changes.
A client had given me a card of a practitioner they felt would be able to support me in what was going on. At first I was sceptical, but after my first visit with Serge Benhayon I walked out knowing that my life as it was, was not it, and that it all had to change. Not because of what he told me to do, but through what I could feel in me… a knowingness of my own.
I had finally been met in full for who I truly was. There was no expectation for me to be anything other than me, and from that there was no going back. I could no longer ignore the way I was living. The denial had been huge, I just did not realise how much I had been living in the avoidance of self.
From there I had more sessions with Serge and went along to the workshops and courses Serge and Universal Medicine were presenting. These courses, workshops and sessions helped me to be able to feel the lovelessness and disregard I had been living in all my life.
Not only did it help me to feel this, but it also allowed me to connect to the awesomeness that I am. My inner heart had been yearning for me to reconnect to myself and allow myself to live from my inner self: to live from a love that is known and felt by all; for me to just be me, without all the ideals and expectations I had taken on throughout my life. It was time for me to take responsibility for my actions and choices and to stop blaming everyone and everything else for why my life was the way that it was.
I came to realise and understand that there was no way that my body would be able to continue to live in such a way without something happening. My illness was a way of my body saying, “Hey, I can’t do this anymore and my subtle hints are not working so here, have this”. I began to change, not only my diet, but also my relationship, my work ethics and my sleep patterns, going to bed before 9pm and taking the time to nurture myself whenever I could.
All of the changes that I was making in my life came naturally, as once I allowed myself to feel what was needed, the rest followed. The support of Serge Benhayon, and Kate Greenaway, a physiotherapist who had started working with Serge at the clinic, made it easier for me to keep being honest with myself about where I was at and what was needed. Never did they judge me for the choices I had made or was making, and sometimes the choices I made were not as supportive of myself as they could have been. They were only ever loving, offering a level of support I’d never before come across.
To cope with the stress of life, I had years before begun to smoke marijuana – it helped me to check out of what was going on around me. Every time things got too much, I would turn to a joint and hope it would all sort itself out and go away. I did not allow myself to eat properly, living on fresh juices and small amounts of solid foods, so my weight was extremely low.
I gave up smoking marijuana and began to eat solid foods. I started with six small meals a day as my digestive system was not used to it and at first it was a struggle. In a way, it was a blessing to re-introduce foods in this way because I could feel exactly how certain foods made me feel. I found that foods that contained gluten or wheat made me feel heavy, bloated and tired and that dairy would make me congested and that both of them together would give me extreme stomach cramps.
I gradually introduced foods into my diet that allowed me to feel what my body needed rather than eat just for the sake of eating. My diet was one of salads, vegetables, lamb, fresh fruit, nuts and grains. I could feel the change in my body, the clarity of my thoughts and the willingness to deal with whatever came my way.
I began to realise I had been living in such a way that my body felt very hard, and generally, I felt disconnected from myself and that there was no way that I could ever deal with anything. I had chosen to completely check out from life and my illness was showing me just that.
I was not living in gentleness and I certainly was not nurturing of myself, or my body.
I came to realise that I needed to let myself feel the consequences of the choices that I had made in my life and deal with what I had created. I had begun to feel, through being more aware of my ovaries and my breasts, that I was not living in the stillness of what being a woman was all about. Instead, I was living in a hardness that I used to get by in life and get things done – at any cost.
My body was showing me that I needed to be aware of the choices that I made and to deal with whatever came up. To be accepting of myself, and my body, and to love myself for who I was. Loving and accepting myself did not feel like it came naturally to me. I was very hard on myself, feeling that I was never enough and that I always had to do and be more. I always felt that I needed to prove myself, seeking acceptance from my family and those around me.
Connecting to myself, my breasts and my body allowed me to feel that I was enough, that it was OK for me to be gentle, to be vulnerable and to ask for help if I needed it. I was now able to make choices based on what I needed to support myself in that loveliness and to be the amazing woman I truly am. By allowing myself to connect to my body I could feel the yumminess I already had inside of me, that I didn’t need anyone else to confirm that I was great, I could confirm that for myself by just stopping and feeling me… and there was no better feeling than that yumminess within.
My doctor was sceptical when I said I wanted to try for a baby and warned me of the complications that could arise. I was prepared to give it a go and went ahead with my life, constantly being aware of what changes I needed to make to continue to support me, continuing with my sessions when I felt the need.
Just before we conceived our first child I went back to my specialist in Sydney for a check-up. He was amazed at the transformation. My cervix had no signs of any scarring from the surgeries that I had had in the past, and there were no longer the advanced precancerous changes in the cells. All he had to say was, “Whatever you are doing, keep doing it… I can’t see there being any problems from what has been occurring thus far”.
I went on to have a daughter, which was the most amazing experience – having an awesome, trouble-free pregnancy, birth and baby. She has been a true inspiration for what is possible if you just allow yourself the time to connect to who you are and what you are capable of. I am now pregnant with our second baby and so far the pregnancy has been the same. No cravings, morning sickness, pains, bloating, excess weight gain or discomfort.
My body has now been clear for 11 years, no more cancerous changes in the cells of my cervix and I have had no further surgery or treatments apart from attending on-going courses, treatments and retreats through Universal Medicine. I have not had to go back to my specialist for over five years now, opting to have my regular pap smears through the local hospital, all of which have come back negative.
I am still aware that I need to treat my body in a way that will continue to support it in what is needed, and if that means it needs the support of mainstream medicine also, then so be it. For me it was a combination of both mainstream and Esoteric Medicine that lead me to the life that I am now able to embrace and live fully.
If it were not for the two working together, then I am certain my outcome and life would be a very different story.
My body needed the medical treatments it received in order to clear it on a physical level, and the Esoteric Medicine was necessary for me to be able to address issues on a deeper level, and take full responsibility for what was going on that lead me to get an illness in the first place.
My doctor was always very sceptical of whatever it was I was doing, but when he saw the results for himself, he couldn’t argue. He never fully understood what it was that was going on, but he never refused to treat me because of my choices. He only ever remained open to allowing me the time and space I asked for to do what I felt was needed.
I was also very strong in claiming what it was that I wanted to do. I never gave up on what it was that I felt I needed to do in order to get to the root cause of what was going on in my body.
Since I started with Serge and then Kate, Universal Medicine has offered even more modalities, such as Esoteric Breast Massage. This has enabled and supported me to connect to myself as a woman and to live that in every aspect of my life. I now also have Esoteric Ovary Massages with Natalie Benhayon – these provide me the support to feel how I have been living on a daily basis; Esoteric Massage (Curtis Benhayon) lets my body express and release what it is that I have taken on; and Esoteric Chakra-puncture with Michael Benhayon helps to support my body in the true vitality and love that I am.
All of these modalities have shared something different with me: they are the tools that have enabled me to make choices and changes in my life so I can live completely and honestly as who I am.
Now, at age 40, my life is not complete for what I have, but for who I am – and for the loveliness that I can connect to everyday. I appreciate the opportunity to have been able to be shown that there was another way. If I hadn’t become ill, I would have never made the choice to live differently, to live with me in my awesomeness every day – and for that I am truly grateful.
233 thoughts on “Cervical Cancer at 19 to True Health at 40”
A clear testament to the fact that our body reflects the choices we make in life.
“I came to realise and understand that there was no way that my body would be able to continue to live in such a way without something happening.” – the body has a way of communicating to us when something we are doing is not supporting or helping us. But when we don’t listen to these communications, the body can end up “shouting louder and louder” which is symbolic of it developing a condition or illness or disease that is more severe in its presentation.
Your article highlights how important it is to always work with conventional medicine but also how much more complete, thorough and deeper the healing goes when complementary medicines such as the esoteric modalities as taught by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are incorporated into the treatment plan. It is one thing to look after the body from a physical and temporal sense, but equally important to address the energetic and emotional and physchological aspects that are a part of any dis-ease.
Nicole – thank you for this amazing article! There are so many pieces of Gold that you share here that many of us as women need to read to be reminded of and this is only one of the many nuggets you have offered here: “If I hadn’t become ill, I would have never made the choice to live differently, to live with me in my awesomeness every day – and for that I am truly grateful.” – Every illness or disease is a blessing when we see it as an opportunity to look after ourselves more deeply.
“Not only did it help me to feel this, but it also allowed me to connect to the awesomeness that I am. My inner heart had been yearning for me to reconnect to myself and allow myself to live from my inner self: to live from a love that is known and felt by all”
Yes how incredible it is when we say yes to what is there to say yes too!
This article is a must read for everyone because what you are sharing Nicole I feel is what happens to our body when we put it under continuous stress and we push ourselves to the limit for whatever reason. Many of us live detached from our bodies, I know this from experience because I did for years and in that state we can drive the body because we have lost all feeling to what is taking place in our bodies. There is another way to live and that is connected to our bodies so that we can actually feel and be supported by our inner knowing that is there with us waiting to be tapped into. When we are moving with our bodies it is in a more harmonious state and it is far easier to feel when something is out of sorts.
The reason why our health deteriorates as we get older may not be because life gets tougher, it actually may be because of our choices, the life-style we choose and the toxins we invite in the cells of our bodies. It can be said as an excuse, I am getting older so naturally i am getting iller – my immune system weakens etc. But is it possible that our immune system weakens as a result of our disregard towards ourselves, as a result of all the harmful behaviours we engage in? Like shown in this blog, it is possible to be healthier in your elderly years than your youth – so what is the truth?
‘If I hadn’t become ill, I would have never made the choice to live differently, to live with me in my awesomeness every day – and for that I am truly grateful.’ This is such an inspiring attitude towards your cancer, rather than getting caught up in fighting your body and what it was showing you, you chose to take responsibility for your past choices and lovingly adjust the way you live and in the process completely transform your life.
Well said Helen – to see the communications of the body as something to be listened to and then to act on it, rather than being a victim of the communications or feeling one has to fight nature and what is being communicated is a hugely different approach compared to what we see in our society as a general rule.
For so many people success would be turning around the illness and also being able to have children, however what you have shared Nicole is it’s much more than this, it’s the ability to connect to your true self within and follow the impulses of your own knowing that develops a way of life that supports you in every way. As you share at the end it’s “to live with me in my awesomeness every day”.
Spot on Melinda – many women would have the end goal as being able to have a child, but Nicole has not stopped at that as she knows there is so much more for her to express and live in this life. This is the real inspiration!
“My cervix had no signs of any scarring from the surgeries that I had had in the past, and there were no longer the advanced precancerous changes in the cells.” When we truly support our body it can heal beyond what is currently accepted and seen as possible. And truly supporting our bodies is not just the correct foods and so on but also to look at how we are living, what we are thinking, and looking at all our behaviors and ideals to see if they truly support us. But just stopping with the things that are harming like drinking alcohol, smoking and overly processed foods that are now so normal is a great start I would say.
A pure testimony to the fact that if we do not deal with the issues in our life we can never truly move on from them even if we get their physical symptoms treated medically as their rot is still stored within our body.
An amazing article Nicole, thank you for sharing your journey with us, it is indeed a miracle of the power of healing by returning to the love you hold within and making it a part of your everyday life.
Our lives can be like rollercoasters, being at the top, seeing that you’rre about to head down the the speed of light and knowing that it was your choice to put yourself in that situation – what a perfect metaphor. Here you have so clearly written how it does not have to be that way. We can make small changes in each and every second of the day to lay the foundation for the huge leaps we will be taking as we grow stronger. Thank you very much for writing this Nicole!
Yes it is always in the detail of how we choose to live our lives that the seeds of illness and disease appear and thus it is by making small, but consistent, choices to self-care that we can start to heal our bodies.
Wow Nicole, thank you for writing this – for somebody who is going through some medical concerns in the same area of my body, it’s is incredible inspiring to read what you have gone through. Really, thank you a million times.
I agree Viktoria, it’s very inspiring and it’s very practical, a combination of being very honest with ourselves and making changes based on what truly supports and nurtures the body.
The body speaks volumes and the choice to listen is the already part of the huge path of healing. The levels of honesty we are prepared to go to bring forth even more to appreciate.
We learn much about ourselves when we are willing to look at our illnesses as not just happening by chance. The way you have explored and changed behaviours in your life Nicole is inspiring.
Super inspiring Nicole, a testament to the fact that illness and disease are often needed if true healing and change of living is to take place.
This is so inspirational ”I never gave up on what it was that I felt I needed to do in order to get to the root cause of what was going on in my body.” for some one who can reach to indulgence and self stimulation is wonderful to read of someone who is making changes in their lives to such a degree that they feel truly healthy and well. I am constantly reminded and offered messages by my body that I could treat it better with more love and care, I am understanding with where I am at in my life, it is critical that I truly pay attention.
“my life is not complete for what I have, but for who I am” This statement is magic it is so simple, love ourselves truly madly deeply and our lives will always feel complete no matter what we do.
” Now, at age 40, my life is not complete for what I have, but for who I am ”
This is such a beautiful learning thank you for sharing.
” He was amazed at the transformation ” Its quite amazing to realise that its
ill – choices that contribute to making us ill . But by the same understanding its loving choices that allows us to be who we are in truth.
It wasn’t til I began studying with Universal Medicine that I realised the link between our body and our being, that the body wasn’t just influenced by diet, exercise and sleep, etc, but also by the quality of the being inside ourselves. Your line John reminded me of this “to be who we are in truth.”, as when we can can fully be ourselves it takes so much pressure off the body and allows us to make true choices for ourselves and express all of who we are. The days where I feel really well and vital are the days when I’m fully connected to and expressing my self, which has given new meaning to the term ‘well-being’.
Wow Nicole what a story and turn around, it would have been big at the time and the changes a huge contrast but how you share it with us there is a simplicity and grace and a ‘anyone and everyone can choose differently’. What stood out for me is how, even though you had spent time disconnected from how your body was, you knew innately that it didn’t have to be that way.
I found it incredibly inspiring to read your story Nicole, and how you have literally turned your life around: you saw the impact of your choices, knew that the way you were living wasn’t ‘it’, and then took action and did something about it, making different choices to really look after yourself. It goes to show what is possible when we take full responsibility for our bodies and our lives, claiming our choices and doing what we know our bodies have been asking us to do, but that we’ve got pretty good at ignoring, often.
What an amazing turnaround, this is a beautiful example of how when a woman truly nurtures herself she can be truly healthy as her body discards all that build up of toxins and scarring from previous poor choices. It also shows the importance of Western medicine working together with true complementary therapies for full patient care.
How great that you understood this, and took responsibility to change how you had been living, ‘and was constantly pushing myself and my body, past the point that it could cope with. I knew that my illness was a result of the choices that I had been making and that I had to start looking at those choices and begin to make some changes.’
” I never gave up on what it was that I felt I needed to do in order to get to the root cause of what was going on in my body.” That is such a gorgeous statement, it is our own choices based on our inner knowing that will eventually resurrect us out of the misery we are in. We just need to become aware of the fact we do know and that we can make loving choices if we truly consistently commit to it and Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health greatly support with this as does Western Medicine.
“I knew that my illness was a result of the choices that I had been making and that I had to start looking at those choices and begin to make some changes.” When we wake up and start to take responsibility for our health it is amazing the changes that can happen.
Nicole the change that you made by being open to receive the true and living inspiration from your practicioners, Serge Benhayon and Kate Greenaway, is huge.
I can relate how the quality of my life increased since I started to get in touch with Universal Medicine.
I was diagnosed of chronic dermatitis and asthma in my 20s. Any medication didn’t worked, the symptoms of my skin problem remained without I knew that could be another way. I didn’t know about the link between my choices and my body and let alone about the responsibility that I carried with my own health. I thought my skin was like that because my missfortune. It was not until I attend my first workshop held by Serge that I realize my skin was expressing something, the result of my choices and the neglect of my body. It was very healing to make step by step new self-loving choices by myself. Giving up dairies and gluten was very key in my healing process but also change the way I was been living with myself. Today my skin is clearer and shinny than ever before. Asthma is not a condition to live with anymore. I love this life as the school of self-awareness and self-responsibility that it is and the infinite support that I always receive in every session from my practicioners.
That’s wonderful Inma and very inspiring, the key for you was being more open to and aware your body was communicating something and looking at your daily choices – very self empowering. So often we think of illness as misfortune or genetic, we don’t realise the effects of our every choice. As both your comment and the blog by Nicole has shown, making choices based on observing what works for the body and how it responds can be key to both healing existing conditions and maintaining true health and well-being.
Plato already said “That as you ought not to attempt to cure the eyes without the head, or the head without the body, so neither ought you attempt to cure the body without the soul.” and Universal Medicine is bringing back this truth today, showing us how significant our choices are in relation to the state of our health and wellbeing. Testimonials like this are amazing as expose the belief about an illness or a disease occurs by genetics or by incident when is not. Thank you Nicole for sharing all what you lived and how rich, truly healthy and wonderful your life is today.
Love this quote by Plato. To truly heal and not just remove symptoms or ‘cure’ means looking at all aspects of ourselves. The body is our vehicle of expression and how we live, think, act and respond all plays a significant part in our well being and that of others too.
I loved re-reading your blog Nicole. How much we can contribute to our own health and how beautiful how you could work with the specialist that close.
I am every year with my specialist for my high cholesterol. Since the cholesterol level is reducing he said the same to me; Keep doing what you share you are doing as it works. And if it continues like that then you should coach all my patients.
All the workshops and Esoteric healing sessions I did changes not just my life but also the condition of my body.
Thanks heartfelt Nicole for sharing your experience here with all of us. Your testimony is very inspirational. Great to know that these kind of miracles exist and we do really are the makers of them when we take responsibiity of our life making the choices that best support us.
Amazing, awe, inspiration this account is incredible, the changes that have been embodied with ease are just beautiful. Health and Wellbeing are in our hands, what do we choose? We can heal if we make life about honesty, responsibility and consistency, not perfection or blame.
I totally agree Samantha, this should be shared with all women. There is such a difference in how responsibility feels compared to blame… our body is either allowed to let go or hold on and become hard.
This is a very beautiful testimony of the difference taking our part in the responsibility can offer to our health and well-being.